


Distance

by Pinx_B



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Introspection, Light Angst, POV First Person, Romance, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 04:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14205528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinx_B/pseuds/Pinx_B
Summary: It was in Reimu's nature to be perceptive of others, a trait that had been perfected over the many years as Alice would come to realise..





	Distance

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Reimu sends away the last of the guests out of the shrine, with a fair bit of resistance from the likes of Suika, Remilia & Rika but she manages. 

I suppose she has been doing this for so long that she knows the behaviour of all of those that she is acquainted with. 

It does make me curious about how much of my own traits she has picked up on. 

I wonder if she has picked up on why I am the last to leave the shrine every time we gather here. 

As much as it is to help her with the cleaning process, my need to be around Reimu has been building up over the years. The feeling is so steep now that even getting a glimpse of her makes my day.

The thought of her knowing how I felt about her makes my body flush to a point I'm yanking at my caplet to air me out. 

She _cannot_ know. 

I don't know how I would even go about expressing such emotions as I am not the best with them. Neither is Reimu come to think of it. We'd be the oddest of pairs but, I guess that is what makes us so interwoven to a certain degree. 

It would be surprising if she hasn't noticed the way I look at her. 

I mean, I don't think I've been _that_ subtle since everybody else knows but I honestly can't help it. 

Reimu has a hold on me that matches the strength of some of the strings I use for my dolls. 

Ironically, I've become her puppet. 

There isn't an inch of me that seems to have a problem with that which is quite unusual in itself. 

My mind feels heavy because of the thoughts of her being mine and mine alone. 

I want to be _hers_. 

 

The wishful thinking of that shatters my reverie as I know it'll never come to be. 

Realising that I've been staring at Reimu's back as she is still stood at the door, I see Yukari chatting with her and our eyes lock. 

I tense up, more so when she winks at me with that grin she is renowned for. 

You know, Yukari Yakumo's all knowing grin. 

The one that put that likes of Eirin into being extra precarious of her. A grin so subtle yet sinister that it could make Flandre's feel warm. The kind of expression that can put a carefree celestial like Tenshi in her place. 

 _That_ one. 

It was enough to make me grab the last of the dishes and take them to the kitchen. I didn't want her to know what I was thinking about Reimu, what I _desired_ of her, what I yearned for. Yukari had a habit of knowing when things happened prior to anyone else so it was unnerving. 

To see her smile at me like that whilst holding her conversation with Reimu. 

In order to push all the thoughts out of my muddled head, I get to rinsing and cleaning what is left in the sink so that I can head home too. 

The more I'm in Reimu's presence, the more I am likely to lose control over my actions, words & feelings. 

Once I get that hug, I know I can will myself to leave.

This is the reason why I opt to be the last to go, knowing that all of Reimu's usual guards will be dropped for the minute that we have with each other. 

A minute of being entangled in each other's arms before we pull away and bid each other goodnight. 

It may seem so insignificant but it means everything to me. 

Reimu, she..she means everything to me. 

A sigh escapes my mouth as my heart pounds itself into overdrive, the sudden spike in pressure making me woozy. 

How can it be possible to feel _so_ harshly about someone but in a positive way. I'm sure there is a saying about being inclined to loving someone so much that it'll kill you. If that was to be the case, if Reimu is to be the death of me, then that is how it shall occur. 

She has already taken away a side of me that I was unaware that existed; a side which craved affection. 

So it only makes sense to let her have the rest of me as I already belong to her in ways that I'd never give myself to anyone else. 

My hands are gripping the edge of the surface with such ferocity that my fingers feel numb. There's a tingling sensation in them which resembles the motion that runs through me whenever Reimu holds me. 

It makes me forget everything, all my problems, stresses and burdens. 

She numbs me down in marvellous ways that tame the torrent of emotions causing havoc inside me. 

It makes me smile warmly, to know of the impossible which actually happened. 

That even if nothing more happens between us, Reimu will be someone I trust with _my_ life. 

I can be content with knowing this. 

At least I was sure I could be but then I turned around to leave and saw Reimu stood there. 

A small gasp escapes my mouth which I laugh off, chiding Reimu for sneaking up on me like that but she says nothing. 

Yet, her red eyes say everything and then some. 

It worries me so I step forward to let her know that I have to leave and is there anything she needs. 

A code for 'can we hold each other for that minute?'. 

Her mouth opens to emit words but she quickly closes it, her pink lips sealed together whilst her eyes continue to scream out to me. The depth in the red colour coaxes something inside me that makes me want to make her shut them. 

Only because I can't stand the licentious gaze in them. 

It's making me feel scared and excited at the same time, a combination that I wouldn't have expected Reimu to be able to stir in others. 

But it cannot be mistaken, the rousing whirlwind in her radiant eyes. 

Quickly, I excuse myself, walking past her and into the main living quarters. I have to get out of there and fast, before I do something stupid like confess to her that every day I wish it was her face I saw when I woke up. 

That I wish I could spend the night here with her, whether we're up talking or leaving each other breathless with every drawn out kiss. 

I don't care what it is we would do, as long as I'm _with_ her. 

But to reveal that would be something which will remain a dream as I couldn't bear the thought of her telling me she doesn't feel the same. 

The only thing I'd be kissing goodbye then would be our friendship. 

 

It isn't a risk I'm willing to take I mumble to myself whilst collecting my things and making a beeline for the door; only to feel a hand around my wrist. 

Frozen, my eyes are open wide and my breathing refuses to complete its process. 

Reimu's grip is firm, possessive, hot. 

Her skin seems to be heated and it is concerning but I can't turn around, I can't look at her, not with these thoughts parading around within the crevices of my head. 

It doesn't help that she's been acting odd all night, like I could _feel_ her watching me more so than usual. No matter who I was conversing with, I'd feel a gaze on me, as if each blink of her eyelids was a kiss to my skin which made me shudder. She would linger around me that much more, making sure she was my shadow, especially when anyone tried to make a drunken yet innocent pass at me.

Whatever facial expression Reimu wore was deadly enough to make them rethink what they were doing and step away. 

It was a night that _I_ noticed things for a change. 

The silence was unbearable. 

But perhaps it was better than what Reimu said to break it. 

_I know._

That's all she says but it is enough. 

_I know._

Her grip increases as I've lost the mobility of my body; my thoughts flying around trying to decrypt what Reimu was talking about. 

It can't be _that_. 

Reimu wouldn't notice me, she just wouldn't. 

It has been years of me pining away for her as she continued being the Reimu that we all know and adore.

There is absolutely no way she could know now. 

She speaks again, her voice low and digging into the back of my skull. 

_Alice, look at me, I know._

Panic makes my sensibility flee as my fear is confirmed, that she is aware of how I feel about her. As much as I try to reply, my vocal chords suddenly feel chipped and dry; the words scraping up my throat but never making it out. 

What would I even say to that if my brain was functioning? 

I don't know, I can't think and the flight or fight instinct kicks in. 

My choice is to flee so I try and make a break for it. 

She saw it coming. 

She knew I'd choose to run and instantly pulled me back against her with a harsh tug. 

Her arms lock around my body as she keeps a severe grip. I attempted to shove against her in vain but my arms are pressed down my side and her face is right in front of my own. Her height topples mine now after all the years that have flown by, the human years catching up to her, only to enhance her beauty. 

I'm desperately squirming to get away from the piercing gaze, to get away from her remarkable body twirled around mine like a thick vine, to get away from being turned down. 

Reimu doesn't seem to want to listen when I tell her to let me go, that it isn't what she thinks but I know she doesn't believe me. 

I can't even convince myself to lie about how in love with her I am because it would be an insult, it would be false, it would be something that I _never_ want to be an actual truth. 

What else am I supposed to do when she's looking at me with an intensity that rivals that of the sunset during the winter skies. 

My name comes out of her mouth again but it's trembled & quiet. Each decibel is soaked up into my skin, along with her fragrance and her breath. 

All I can do is stammer her name in response and she gives me this expressive and almost painful look. Her eyes are so lidded and it is entrancing to a point I shut my own because it's too much. 

Everything about her is numbing me from the inside and I want _more_ , I just want her to love me. 

We're both breathing slow but heavily as Reimu's soft tone caresses my lips when she speaks again. Her arms loosen which allows me to quickly bring mine up & grab her shoulders, the creamy skin finally fusing with my deprived fingertips that have yearned to touch her all night. 

 

It isn't like the hugs we've indulged on in the past; this one is _different_ , much more charged and what Reimu says reiterates it. 

_Alice, why didn't you tell me?_

I can't answer her. 

_Did you think I'd turn you away?_

Yes, you have no reason to love me. 

_Did you think I'd play silly games with your heart?_

I..it always ends that way. 

_I'm not Marisa._

That makes me snap open my eyes & Reimu appears baleful, like saying _her_ name made the bile rise from her stomach. 

Reimu isn't _Marisa_. 

It angers me to think of her making that comparison and it's my turn to express my distaste. My words are sharp and without softness as I utter my response of Marisa having nothing to do with this, that I have nothing to do with her. 

Maybe I am scared about confessing to Reimu for so many reasons but I, I know she would never treat me like Marisa did. 

I tell her that, exasperation and conviction in my voice as my hands mould themselves into her shoulders. Her arms around my waist squeeze me in response as relief flood her red eyes. 

It was something I wasn't expecting to see.

Come to think of it, the fact that she is holding me like this after revealing that she knew I was in love with her was quite shocking. It made me lose my focus because this wasn't the climatic aftermath I was anticipating. 

For Reimu to say she doesn't feel the same, for me to leave the shrine, to never bring this up again, to go back to how we were. 

But _none_ of that dialogue is coming out of her mouth. 

Instead, her mouth presses against mine, lips connected to the finest details and my eyes cannot believe what my lips are feeling. 

I want to cry; something I haven't done in a while but Reimu kissing me, it could only mean one thing. 

Reimu isn't going to turn me away. 

It is a statement I cannot begin to process so while my mind works on that, I close my eyes and allow the softness of her lips to brush against mine. 

There isn't an explanation that could justify how electrifying kissing her feels like. 

My body is melting against hers as the tentative yet sure movements of her mouth anchor itself over my own. A gasp is heard and I'm sure it came out of my lungs because Reimu's smiles into the kiss as she takes my upper lip and licks it before letting go. 

Finally daring to open my eyes, I look at the woman in front of me, radiating far more calmness in this situation than I would've expected, than _me_. 

My voice gains some leverage as I whisper Reimu's name whilst asking what this means. 

I need to know. 

In order to avoid the disappointment and wishful thinking, I need clarity from her about what this means. 

Her right hand floats its way up my back, over the curve of my shoulder & the side of my neck till it rested delicately against my rosy cheek. It makes me sigh out and retract one of my own hands off of her shoulder to rest on her chest.

The tight grip I deliver to her top is unintentional because of how & what she replies which causes my emotions to flare up in unbridled happiness. All of Reimu's words are simple, honest and backed up with a firm conviction that this was going to be _different_. 

That I had no need to hide what I felt for her as the feeling was mutual. 

_Alice, I've always known._

To see her mouth exuding those words.

To see her eyes reflecting it.

To see her smile form. 

To feel her palm comfort me. 

All of it. 

All of it make makes me succumb to Reimu & close the space between us once again. 

Because now I know what Reimu has always known. 


End file.
